You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
