I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
