you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
