im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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