It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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