I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize