walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
