if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
