super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
