oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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