My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
