She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
