oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
