At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
