Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
