I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
