anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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