if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
