so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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