That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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