this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
