I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
