I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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