There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
