So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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