I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
