There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
