fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
