That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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