In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
smell my finger.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
