I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
