Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
