Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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