I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she told me i tasted like america
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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