We won't sleep together?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
