I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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