i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
