I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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