Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
