Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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