I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
