i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
