Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
