You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
whose ass print is on the piano?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I supernannyed him into submission
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
