I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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