Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
