i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
