Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
