lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
