I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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