She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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