yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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