You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
