Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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