I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
