New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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