she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can't turn off my feet"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
